Community

how to give your teen criticicism

Don’t be afraid to offer feedback. Many parents and guardians are hesitant to offer constructive criticism to their teens. This is counterproductive as feedback helps teens grow into stronger, smarter adults. Your teen will be more receptive to feedback if it is a normal part of their lives.

Offer an explanation. Teenagers are at an age when they are beginning to question everything and they want to know why certain things are required of them. Therefore, offering your teen an explanation may help them to understand why you are asking them to do something differently and to see why the request is important.

Try saying something like, "I know it's a drag to have to do chores, but I need you to do the dishes every night. I can't do all of the house work alone and your help goes a long way."

Use “I” statements instead of “you” statements. Rather than framing feedback in terms of “you,” try using “I” instead. Using an “I” statement will make your teen feel less defensive as the statement is about you instead of them. This can help teens become more open to constructive criticism.[2]

Instead of saying, “You should really work on being more optimistic,” try saying, “I really enjoy the optimistic side of your personality.”
Don’t say, “You make me so angry when you leave your socks on the stairs!” Instead try, “I get upset when you leave your socks on stairs. Can you work on putting them in the laundry room instead?”