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how to measure your penis size

Penis length
Pressing the ruler at an angle.

The angle at which you measure will have an impact on the measurements, so press the ruler perpendicularly into the groin, so that it is at approximately 90 degree angle.

Measure along the top, pressing into the groin
measuring-penis-size.gif Pressing into groin compensates for a layer of fat and pubic hair

Bush size and groin fat that you have can have a massive effect on the result. Therefore we recommend to place the ruler/measuring tape right at the base of the shaft, pressing firmly into the groin (and again we remind you, try not to stab yourself in the process!). The length from the base of the shaft to the tip of the penis is in fact your penis (cock, dick, willy) length.

Pressing hard into the groin for maximum length is justified by the fact that some men have more fat and more pubic hair. The difference could be significant. Shaving pubic hair and losing groin fat through exercise or liposuction will visually increase the penis length perception.

Penis girth
Measuring at the head and at the shaft

Once the penis is erect, measure the organ’s girth. Try to measure the girth of the penis mid-shaft, where it is mostly of the same thickness.

Some men will have larger heads of penises than others but measuring them will not give a reliable estimate, since the figures will not be the same, so try to measure the penis girth at mid-shaft, not at the head.

If you don’t have a flexible measuring tape that the tailors use to measure dimensions, take a string and wrap it around your penis, mark the beginning and the end and then measure it with a ruler. This will give a very accurate measure of the penis girth/circumference. When measuring penis girth, try not to strangle your little friend.

If the head of your penis is significantly larger, measure it as well. When you look for condoms, go for flare shaped condoms - with more room for the glans/head

Safety and ethics

Prepare a ruler or a tailor measuring tape. If it is one of those sharp metallic rulers, try not to stab yourself with it. Try not to slice half of your cock off during the process.

If overly eager, prepare and practice a cover story for the accident and emergency room.

Get an erection

Make sure your penis is erect and straight, the steps you take to get the desired effect is really no concern of ours, but again try not to do anything overly creepy.

We’d put a few humorous suggestions of what not to do (such as dressing up in lycra superman costume and taking Viagra whilst on a subway train at peak hour), but we realise that some people will react with enthusiasm and go “well, that’s a thought”. So we recommend to approach penis size measurement with both humour and with empirical thirst for truth.

Once your penis is erect and straight (if you have a bendy penis, that’s no problem, use a flexible measuring tape and follow the procedure, you may need to bend the measuring tape according to the curvature of your penis. Place the measuring device on top of the penis, measuring tape or ruler facing up. Penis length is measured from the base of the shaft (where your penis meets the groin) to the tip of the penis.