Unmet Expectations After Pregnancy Loss
After a pregnancy loss, you have so many unmet expectations. So many what-ifs and feelings of lost opportunity. In a late pregnancy loss, you’ve got the expectations of your friends and family as well, since the news was most likely common knowledge by the time you were approaching your due date.
Baby gifts and nursery equipment are all part of that.
It is Your Decision Alone - There is No Right or Wrong
What to do with your baby’s things is a very personal decision. You probably already know what your gut reaction is. If you do have a strong feeling about what to do with your baby’s things, trust your instincts. Just be sure to tell your friends and family very clearly what your decision is.
Sometimes your loved ones will try to help you by taking anything baby-related out of your house before you get home. They have your best interests at heart, of course, but if that’s not what you want, they’re actually causing you more harm than good. It might not be the first thing on your mind, but if you have feelings about it, speak up.
Speak Up About Your Wishes About Your Baby’s Things
Whether your decision differs from your family and friends, or if your family and friends actually cause you pain in their efforts to help, we can’t stress enough that it’s important for you to speak.
You have too much going on emotionally to stuff these negative feelings in among your other emotions. In addition, when we ignore or stuff our anger, these negative feelings can build until they erupt all at once.
After a pregnancy loss you’re feeling vulnerable to begin with. You may feel that speaking up is important, but just can’t do it yourself.
If that sounds like you, quote us in saying that it is important to approach your baby’s things in the way that feels right for you alone. There is no wrong way to approach your baby’s things—whether that means getting rid of everything right away, or keeping everything as is for awhile until you feel more comfortable making that decision—only the way which comforts you as you grieve and heal. Trust your instincts.