how to discipline without yelling at kids

. Establish Clear Rules
You’ll be less likely to resort to yelling if you’ve established clear household rules. Keep a written list of household rules prominently displayed.

When rules are broken, follow through with an immediate consequence. Resist the urge to yell, nag, or lecture as your words aren’t likely to teach your child to do better next time.

Discuss Negative Consequences Ahead of Time

Explain the negative consequences for breaking the rules to your child ahead of time. Use time-out, take away privileges, or use logical consequences to help your child learn from his mistakes.

For example, say, “If you don’t do your chores before dinner, there will be no TV for the night.” Then, it’s up to your child to make good choices and you’ll be less likely to yell at him about doing his chores.

Provide Positive Reinforcement
Motivate your child to follow the rules by using positive reinforcement. If there are negative consequences for breaking the rules, there should also be positive consequences for following the rules.

Praise your child for following the rules. Say something like, “Thank you for doing your chore list right when you got home today. I appreciate that.”

Give your child plenty of positive attention to reduce attention-seeking behaviors. So set aside a little one-on-one time each day to motivate your child to keep up the good work.

If your child struggles with particular behavior problems, create a reward system. Sticker charts work well for younger children and token economy systems can be effective with older children. Reward systems can help turn around behavior problems fast.

Examine the Reasons You Yell
If you find yourself yelling at your child, take a look at the reason why. If you are yelling because you’re angry, learn strategies to calm yourself down so you can role model healthy anger management strategies.

Take a self-time out or control any upsetting thoughts. Unless it’s a dangerous situation, wait until you are calm to discipline your child.

If you’re yelling because your child doesn’t listen the first time you speak, try new strategies to get your child’s attention. Practice giving effective instructions without raising your voice.

Finally, if you’re yelling at out of exasperation, develop a clear plan to address misbehavior.

Often, parents yell empty threats that they never plan to follow through with but just don’t know what else to do.