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ways to become more resilient

Stay Flexible. Resilient people expect to face challenges at different points in their lives. They are able to adjust their goals and find ways to adapt.

Learn Lessons. “When you have a negative experience, focus on the positive lessons you can learn from it,” says Ani Kalayjian, EdD, DSc, DDL, a psychologist in New York City. When a tough situation arises, don’t focus on who is to blame. Let go of asking “Why me?” and feeling like a victim. Ask yourself what you could do differently next time to have a better result.

  1. Take Action. Think about what you can do to improve your situation, and then do it. “Resilient people work on solving a problem rather than letting themselves get paralyzed by negativity," Brooks says. For example, if your boss cuts back your hours at work, you could look at it as a chance to explore other job options. In the long run, it could bring about career growth.

  2. Stay Connected. Nurture your relationships with friends and family. When you’re going through a hard time, don’t withdraw from other people. Accept help from those who care about you. Resilient people have at least one or two people in their lives they can turn to for support, Brooks says.